If I see one more award show I…well…what’s the point?  Why bother getting worked up over the fact that people in the entertainment industry feel the need to award themselves and each other…every 2 hours!!!!!

Yep that’s right.  One award is presented every two hours!  According to Variety, there are 564 award shows a year. 1.5 award shows a day. They give out 4025 trophies.

I mean…COME ON!  So much time is spent walking red carpets, sitting on celebrated asses waiting for the opening of envelopes, anticipating with baited breath that moment when we and the rest of the world discover that…YES…people like us…really, REALLY, like us!!!!!  I’m amazed we get any work done at all!

Can you imagine if everyone in every profession on the planet awarded themselves the way we do?  Are we in entertainment more deserving of awards?  We’re just doing our job like everyone else.  Oh…I’m sorry…we aren’t?  Oh my God!  That’s right!  People in the entertainment industry are SO much more SPECIAL than everyone else on the planet.  I completely forgot!

Maybe that’s why we do it.  To make absolutely sure that no one, including ourselves, EVER forgets how special we are.

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences was established in 1927 by Louis B. Mayer of Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (MGM) for one purpose and one purpose alone. And what purpose was that? Well, here’s what Mr. Mayer famously said, “I found that the best way to handle [moviemakers] was to hang medals all over them. If I got them cups and awards they’d kill themselves to produce what I wanted. That’s why the Academy Award was created”.

I remember when I was a desperately needy, deeply insecure child growing up dreaming of being in the entertainment industry.  Worshiping actors and actresses.  Watching year after year the parade of them collecting their awards.  Thrilled for them.  Fantasizing about one day being one of them.  Standing before my peers accepting the symbol of their approval, acknowledgement, respect, love.  Overjoyed, overwhelmed…to be…chosen!

Thank God I got myself a great therapist instead!